Falling in Love: Writing Romance that Goes Beyond Attraction by Ginger Monette

Please help me welcome author Ginger Monette with an interesting, informative article, and her Darcy’s Hope Saga…

Falling in Love: Writing Romance that Goes Beyond Attraction

by Ginger Monette

Have you ever wondered how couples fall in love?

As a romance novelist, it’s my job to weave a story that gives readers a front row seat to watch the unfolding of a beautiful love story.

But how does a couple get from Hello my name is” (or even I despise you”) to You’re my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with you?”

Having been disappointed by numerous novels where the couple claimed to suddenly “be in love” without actually “falling in love,” I went on a quest to investigate this mysterious process of falling head over heels. What I discovered changed my writing.

I dissected some fifty romance novels and made notes. All the couples had hefty doses of attraction, but the most satisfying stories went beyond attraction to something deeper. They showed the characters passing through four phases that moved them step by step from “meh” (or downright hatred) to wowie-zowie he’s the most wonderful person in the world.” And each phase seemed to be characterized by distinct thought patterns. See if you think these phases and thought patterns ring true to real life—particularly if at first Prince Charming seemed to be more of a frog than a prince.

Acknowledgement of him:

-Acknowledges some good quality about him (talented, kind, generous, etc)

-Finds him attractive

-Hyper aware of him, or hyper critical of his shortcomings (which often signals preoccupation or a subconscious denial of admiration)

-Acknowledges an attraction, but blows it off

Appreciation of his good qualities:

-Defends his character while not necessarily liking him

-Is genuinely thankful for a good quality

-Beginning to warm towards him

-Not so judgmental towards him

-More willing to consider his opinion on a matter


-Takes his advice

-Imitates quality or action of his

-Admits her initial criticism or objections were exaggerated or biased

-Curiosity grows—willing to spend more time in his company

-Acknowledges similar values or mutual interests

-Finds she is thinking (fondly) of him more and more


-Openly acknowledges her love/warm feelings for him

-Desires to be in his company

-Thinks he is wonderful

-Thinks he is perfect match

-Misses him painfully when he is gone

-Thinks about him constantly

So how did this awareness of stages change my writing? In my novel Darcy’s Hope ~ Beauty from Ashes, I kept these four stages and behaviours in mind as I crafted scenes. They became an outline of sorts that I wove with compelling action, mystery, suspense, and historical detail. I made sure the couple had ample opportunity to interact on a deep level, then continually gave voice to the heroine’s evolving inner thoughts to show their romance was based on more than physical attraction and chemistry.

Using this approach produced not only a thrilling story, but gives readers a deep sense of satisfaction as they watch the heroine’s tiny bud of acknowledgement open into appreciation, then expand with admiration, and finally blossom into full adoration.

Don’t we all ultimately desire a romance built on a foundation of compatibility and emotional intimacy rather than just a pitter-pattering heart?

What do you think? Add your comments to the conversation below.

The Darcy’s Hope Saga 

Website: GingerMonette.com

Author’s Facebook: is here or https://www.facebook.com/Ginger-Monette-Author-612096318934524/

Video trailer Beauty from Ashes link is here or https://youtu.be/px2fUiZdpGI?t=3s

Purchase Links: Feel free to use just the universal links if you’d like.

-Darcy’s Hope Beauty from Ashes:

Universal link for all retailers. https://books2read.com/u/47kXOj

Amazon USAhttp://bit.ly/2cy01KFBlogTourAmaUS

-Darcy’s Hope at Donwell Abbey:

            Universal link for all retailers. https://www.books2read.com/u/3GMPaK

-Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M6A76CZ/



Downton Abbey Meets Pride & Prejudice!

Escape to the era of Downton Abbey and experience all the drama of World War 1 alongside Jane Austen’s iconic Elizabeth Bennet & Fitzwilliam Darcy. You’ll watch their tender love unfold as they learn to work together and reconcile their differences at a field hospital only miles from the Front. When injury and espionage separate the couple, Darcy is crushed. But Donwell Abbey holds a secret that just might change everything.

“…a stellar example of fine Austenesque literature. …an exceptionally moving story complete with a compelling plot, danger, mystery, action, introspection, vivid detail, and an emotionally wrought romance.” ~Austenesque Reviews

***** 90% of reviews are five star!

The Darcy’s Hope Saga:

Vol 1: Darcy’s Hope ~ Beauty from Ashes

Vol 2: Darcy’s Hope at Donwell Abbey 

Video Trailer: youtu.be/px2fUiZdpGI?t=3s



Winner of Char/Meck Library’s 2015 “Picture This” grand prize, Ginger Monette lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina. When she’s not writing historical romance, she enjoys dancing on the treadmill, watching period dramas, public speaking, and reading—a full-length novel every Sunday afternoon.




Filed under Author Blog Post

9 responses to “Falling in Love: Writing Romance that Goes Beyond Attraction by Ginger Monette

  1. Thanks, Alicia!

    Daydreaming a romance plot this morning, I was thinking about how I never seem to tire of this whole process of falling in love–reading stories, watching TV/movie dramas, and dreaming them up myself. Romance and love is so captivating, and I love to see couples get their happily-ever-after : )


  2. Hi Ginger; what great information. Will be keeping the four phases in mind on my next book, The Darcy’s Hope Saga sound great. Good luck on sales.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. coryellsusan

    Thanks for advice. I struggle with romance in my mysteries and Gothics. Will keep the 4 stages in mind!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. These tips are a great reminder as I’m writing. I love your reading goal.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you, Gini, coryellsusan, and Linda! I’m also working on an article about particularly good scene ideas that facilitate SHOWING a couple connecting on a level that is deeper than just surface physical attraction.


  6. ELF

    Nice breakdown of the process, thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great tips, Ginger! It’s nice to have something tangible to refer to as I write. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Kimber Li

    I like to read (or include, if it’s my own story) another step, learning the relationship skills necessary for living happily ever after. Falling in love is as easy as falling off a log. Staying there…not so much. I’ve tossed a lot of Romance novels over this issue. By the time I reach The End, I need to believe that the couple is truly capable of the HEA. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Excellent point! As you are saying, it’s not just about falling in love, but building a relationship that can withstand the bumps in life. I’m working on an article that gives some suggestions for situations/scenes to put the couple in that builds some foundation into their relationship so the reader does indeed feel the assurance that the couple can successfully “go the distance.”


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