Please help me welcome today’s guest, J.A. Kazimer…
Good morning, J.A. So happy to have you as my guest today. Please tell us a little about yourself, where are you from? Where do you live now? Family? Pets?
Thank you, Alicia. So excited to be here.
I’m originally from Cleveland, Ohio (home of the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame and the only river that’s ever caught on fire, more than once). I moved to Denver, CO so many years ago that I feel like a native. My family consists of a 14-year-old Weimaraner, a 7-year-old (thirty pound) Chihuahua, and a 6-month-old Minnie mutt. In case it’s not obvious, I am that friend on Facebook. The one who drives you nuts with puppy pictures. You’re welcome.
Was there anything unusual, any anecdote about this book, the characters, title, process, etc, you’d like to share?
I’m a sucker for twisting the typical version of a fairytale characters. In this case, I focused my attention on Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
I asked myself, what would have happened if the last line in the fairytale (And she never returned to the home of the three bears), didn’t exist? How would that have changed it? Would the bears, acting as talking bears often do, have called the cops?
I also needed to know why one bowl of porridge too hot and the other too cold? Furthermore, what bear in its right mind would leave a perfectly good porridge sitting out for an interloping blond to eat?
As you can obviously see, this brought me to a grownup Goldie Locks and her adoptive bear family. She now a homicide detective happily dating the fairest man in all the land, until the one man who jumped over a candlestick and out of her life years before returns to win her back. Or to commit murder. I always forget which.
What book have you read that you wish you had written?
Anything by Susan Elizabeth Phillips or Julie Garwood’s historical romances. I love any romance with wit, and humor.
Do you have another occupation, other than writer? If so, what is it and do you like it?
I used to work as a private investigator. It was both fun and humanity destroying. I since moved on to working at a university, which, oddly enough, is also fun and humanity destroying. Kids today…Get off my lawn…
What was your first job?
When a person goes to jail, they can buy things from the commissary. I was the 15-year-old kid filling those orders. It was much like being a file clerk. Good thing I was young and dumb enough not to realize that I don’t like to file.
What do you want readers to come away with after they read [your book]?
Honestly, I want readers to live happily ever after. If my novel makes someone happy, even if just until they finish it, then my role as an author is complete.
Would you rather have a bad review or no review?
I’m the author of over 15 books. Some received plenty of reviews. Others very few. Some bad. Most good. I can firmly attest to the fact that getting any review beats not getting one. Silence is far from golden for authors.
What is your favorite quote?
“The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.”
– Oscar Wilde
What do you want your tombstone to say?
Roses are red,
I’m pretty sure I’m dead.
But would you mind checking?
How did your interest in writing originate?
I loved books since I picked up my very first Johanna Lindsey novel. I believe it was Heart’s Aflame. But being a writer? That was madness. I could barely spell.
Then one day a character’s voice came into my head.
So I had two choices. Either become a writer or face the possibility that I was crazy. Writer seemed easier, and included less electrical shock therapy.
Now, I’d like to turn the tables. What is your favorite fairytale? And why?
Hahaha, loved the interview, J.A. You’re so funny! Your book sounds fantastic. As for my answer to the question, I think mine might be Little Red Riding Hood because it has a creepier vibe than many of the others.
Detective Goldie Locks isn’t looking for just the right bed. Or any bed for that matter.
She’s on the hunt for a killer.
When she discovers the fingerprints of a once-upon-a-time lover, a man who jumped over a candlestick and out a window to leave her facing some serious trespassing trouble alone, at a crime scene, she vows to see him in handcuffs.
Jack B. Nimble has other ideas.
He threatens her adoptive family if Goldie doesn’t help him clear his villainous name, much to the chagrin of her current boyfriend and quite possibly the next mayor, Beau White, the fairest man in all the land.
Trying to prove his innocence turns out to be harder than she expected, especially when Jack refuses to aid in his defense, and instead, starts a campaign to ‘win’ her back. Goldie might be a blond, but she’s far from dumb enough to fall for his charms a second time.
Or so she tells herself every time his lips meet hers.
The deeper she plows into the rabbit hole and Jack’s soul, the more she learns about his motives for returning to the city—Destroying her perfectly crafted life.
“My, my, what big…,” my eyes slowly slid from his mouth downward, taking in every inch of his bulging physique, finally settling on his very large and furry fingers, “…hands you have.”
His lips curled into a lecherous grin as he lifted the chains around his wrists. “The better to…” He waggled his eyebrows.
I tilted my head, letting my hair brush my shoulders. “To what? Kill innocent women wearing red hoods?” Pushing from the hard metal chair, I rose to my full five-feet, eight-inch height to stare down at the guy accused of stalking and murdering a young woman who went missing on her way to her grandmother’s house. The brutality of the crime sharpened my tone. “We’ve got your DNA all over her goodies.”
He huffed in a harsh breath, a telling reaction.
I smiled. We had the right guy. Now I just needed to break him.
The best part of my job.
I drew in a breath, ready to pluck the truth from him like a plum from a pie. The interview room door opened halting my interrogation. Irritation churned inside me, but I suppressed it, barely, as Captain Jingleheimer Schmidt stuck his head through the doorway. “Detective Locks,” he said in a whey-soaked voice. “A word.”
I glowered at the big, bad-smelling wolf, following my captain out of the institutional grey-colored room. He crossed the bullpen bursting with villains and cops, heading to his office on the other side of the New Never City police station. An office as crammed with files and arrest reports as deep, and smelling just as bad, as an old lady and all of her numerous offspring who lived in a shoe.
Motioning for me to sit on the worn chair the captain dropped into his own seat behind a wobbly desk, clasping his fingers in front of him. I wrinkled my nose at the stench wafting around me, and then sat. Like a lady, and not of the night variety, I crossed my legs, waiting. Captain Jingleheimer Schmidt was a man of few words and most of those started with the letter F. I doubted the conversation would take long.
“Goldie,” he began.
My back arched at the use of my given name. Whatever he was about to say wasn’t good, likely for me. In fact, the last time the captain had called me Goldie I’d ended up losing my back right molar to a delusional fairy. The two dollars and seventy cents left under my pillow was of little consolation. I took a calming breath, waiting for the other glass slipper to drop.
J.A. (Julie) Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. When she isn’t looking for a place to hide the bodies, she devotes her time to playing with a pup named Killer. Other hobbies include murdering houseplants. She spent a few years stalking people while working as a private investigator before transitioning to the moniker of WRITER and penning over 15 titles. Visit her website at jakazimer.com and sign up for her THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MURDER Readers’ Group.